South Trip

The Trip Down South

Part Two of Ten – The Bangalore Bang

Forward Journey Log 2.b. (About the City)- Sunday – 4^th January ‘09

The next morning had quite a lot of promise in store for people with nothing better to do. But before getting to the morning of any day, you have to pass through the previous night. And boy, did  things happen during that night. Certain member of our troupe don’t care much about sleeping and really make fourty winks seem like a couple of decades, these were the nocturnal, those who do their bidding by night. These chaps found a way to dial into adjacent rooms using the hotel’s phone network and used that as a means to put a stop to whatever we were doing in dreamland. I, too had my dream of prancing horses interjected by the ringing of the phone, which I happened to be sleeping next to. I heard something about someone, and when presented with the choice of listening on or returning to my prancing horse, I chose the latter. Other things too transpired during that night, from people jumping out from behind the hotel sofas and scaring the wrong persons to the hotel manager being woken by other guests who were bugged by the incessant racket that we were creating.

The morning, being a Sunday, I headed off to find a Roman Catholic Church and not finding one, I settled for a ‘church’ where I had no idea what was going on. None the less, I said my prayers and left. I was also supposed to go visit a temple, as part of my Indianisation course, but that did not come to pass. Besides that, i also got to hear a story about a little girl who wrote letters to God, from a little girl and that was entertaining, if not anything else. Oh yes, then came the part that set a lot of tongues wagging, and just to put a leash on them, I’ll narrate what happened bus skip the details.

Most people here, decided to take a tour of the city on this bus but since I like to explore the city at my own pace, I opted not to go. The tour covered the Bangalore Palace, the ISKON temple and other landmarks. Only four people decided not to go – Parth, Archana, Pranav and me (South Indian, South Indian, Maharashtrian, Maharashtrian). Parth was visiting family and Pranav was doing likewise. You can now figure for yourself why tongues were wagging.

This is what happened. Me and Ms Muffet first went to get food into our stomachs, a very small one and a substantially larger one, at the same dosa joint next to our hotel. That done with, we walked along MG Road, towards, some place, I don’t know  where. The first stop was the Cottage and Village Industries store which, sadly, closed at 2 PM, which meant that we would have to leave before then. That store I liked, no I loved, because I have this ‘thing’ for artefacts and collectibles. Ms Muffet went along on her own, looking at things I did not care for, like earrings, earrings, earrings, sarees, sarees, earrings, shoes, shoes, earrings, sarees and well, you get the drift. Then came the best part; earrings. I have never gone shopping with anyone who spends an hour staring at a mirror reflection of their face with a little something dangling from the ear lobe. Now I know why the attendants of jewellery shops are usually women with mirrors. Vanity. I’m not saying anything here, it’s just a conclusion that I’ve drawn.

I didn’t have much else to do besides sit on the stool and stare at rocks set in metal with loops meant to pierce the flesh on the top. Painful,  the lacerations required to dangle rocks from your ears, me thinks. I also now know why the section that had the earrings was enclosed and soundproofed. No, it’s not to prevent theft, it, in fact, is to drown out the cries of anguish of men losing their minds and falling to the floor in frustration. These noises must not reach the ears of other shoppers who would then proceed to leave the shop.

I did buy something, but only because the colour reminded me of a parrot. Parrots can talk for hours without anyone around or anyone asking them to. See where this is going?

After that, there were free drinks, milk drinks, just so you know, free snacks and a free walk down a very picturesque road in Bangalore. Then came the killer. Parth joined us together, we took on the assault of women, saree shopping. We went to this store, called Nandini where the staff are smart. The seats there are meant for the men who are served complimentary drinks like tea, coffee and orange juice. If the trip wears on, you might even be given a free meal, while someone nearby asks questions like ‘Is this colour ok?’ or ‘Do I look good in this?’, to which the men pay scant attention. This is exactly what happened and after an hour and a half of absent minded conversation, I looked up and saw five sales girls standing under the halogen lights, glowing smiles on, sarees on their shoulders and one woman staring at them alternately. This went on for some time till me and Parth decided to go check out the ‘toy’ section where there were small cars and more entertainment. When the woman in concern saw this, she left the shop and we did likewise, only to repeat the whole fiasco at another store that did NOT have a ‘toy’ section!

What were we to do besides use each other for company? I decided to take a break and sit outside the nearest bank in the hope that salvation would reach me. It did not.

At the end of this, two men were loaded with shopping bags like beasts of burden being led on by their master, who had just been had by one of her own kind. See the pictures below for before and after shots.

 (at left, Before, she'd been had)

(at right, After, Still had)

 

Then came the best part of the evening – FREE FOOD! Yes, I took free food from a woman, yet again. How cool is that? And it’s not very hard; I can assure you of that. And even though the food wasn’t that great, the company and the telly more than made up for it. All this was transpiring while the rest of the crowd was at some disco, doing the disco.

And that was the point where we bid adieu to Mallya-Land; the coolest place this side of the Godavari.

Cheers!

That was day two in Bangalore. The next day was not in Bangalore, it was someplace else.