BlackGovernment.

I do not normally comment on government decisions or any of the ruckus that normally happens when the house is in session, I mean come on, one MP throwing a chair at another doesn’t harm me, does it? But this issue seems to be going too far.

The Saudi’s, Indonesia, the UAE government and now us, all while the Lebanese are thinking about going down that road. What could have got my attention?

As soon as you step into the technology space, you get my attention. The Government of India has , of late, been stirring up quite a ruckus with RIM (Research in Motion) the Canadian makers of the ubiquitous BlackBerry, the one device that you will see in any corporate board room. RIM were the pioneers of mobile email services with their push mail feature that allowed even the busiest executives stay in touch with their inboxes.

The government cannot get access to the corporate messages that BB users send across the cellular network in India because the server is located in another country. Our solution, move the servers here or give us the decryption algorithms. That’s like tying to moon to the earth so some people can always see it. Think about that for a second, enterprise emails and messenger would be the most widely used services by any corporate user. Would banning both these because the powers that be cannot access their encrypted contents be a solution?

Strangely, most telecom operators have backed the government in its stance and that seems to have riled the top brass as RIM, with co-CEO Michael Lazaridis launching into a tirade at India. RIM are facing a ban on services to almost a million Indian users and they concern is understandable.

The Chinese and Russian agencies, it seems, can already access BlackBerry’s heavily encrypted corporate email services, and therefore can read any email that they deem to be detrimental to national security. India wants the same level of access to the BlackBerry service in India, because of a ‘fear’ of misuse by militants. Oh come on, for the love of God, which gun toting militant would have a BlackBerry in the other?

Dude with gun, into his BlackBerry: ‘Dude, one a clock, let’s take down Parliament. In Toronto.’

Other Dude: ‘Yeah, I’m locked and loaded. Just a pint of beer and let’s take it down’.

Believe me, there is a bar called ‘Parliament’ in Toronto. Google it.

That would constitute a threat to Janpath only if terrorists now refer to Delhi as Toronto. And if pigs could wield knives and cook their own stew.

OK, if encryption is disturbing the governments, we might as well send letters without envelopes, send SMS messages on building walls and print newspapers on the streets. Heck , if you use a piece of paper with holes in the right places, you can read all sorts of messages in the average newspaper. Aliens? Are you going to put the blame on them?

Considering the issues that this country is facing, raising concern over issues like BlackBerry’s encryption seems farcical at best.

If you want secure communication, and are a terrorist, would you really use a BlackBerry? Or does the government want to know what the Birlas, Ambani’s and Hiranandani’s are thinking behind those closed doors? Are their press releases not enough for the tax authorities? Is that really it?

Or is this a cleverly timed act to draw public attention away from the Commonwealth Games debacle-in-waiting?

We can wait and watch at best. Or Encrypt our thought. Unless Delhi want the code to that too.

ER. The serious version.