Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Site Rules: One to Six


The Rules

The following are not commandments of any sort, nor are they meant to make any sense to the majority of the junta. They’re just general occurrences at the work place, more the norm than the exception.

1.       Periodically, you will be asked to comment on the progress of work which you know nothing about. A simple analogy would be asking a member of the UN Peacekeeping force in Darfur about the present activities of Hamas. The comments you make, of course, will become legally binding on you and you can and, inevitably, will be held responsible in the event of you making a mistake.
2.       The concept of the site ‘Dog’ is very interesting. Every construction site has a resident group of canines that look after the security of material at their site and also keep out invaders. It is the job of these dogs to piss on everything and everyone in a gesture of marking their territory. Site dogs can also be people who scavenge at nearby sites for material that can be used at theirs.
3.       You know that you’ve been ‘site-ed’ when:
a.       You look at piles of stones on the street and think “Damn civil work”.
b.       You look at a stray cable drum and think “Damn, I could use that cable”.
c.        You see a metal plate on the road and the first thing that comes to mind is ‘shims’.
d.       You see a large pipe  and you think “ I’d like to live in that”.
4.       In the beginning there was the word, and the word was God, and the word was with God. Now at site, that becomes: In the beginning was the Word, and the word was with Cat and the word was Cat.
5.       You tell your boss that you were holding the last pair of hooters in your hands and that there were none left. And you do so with a straight face.
6.       The following acronyms make sense to you: FPR, FQP, QAP,GCB, HRSG, GTG, STG, MRM, DPR, PCC, RCC and C-Off. No, the last one is not an expletive, it actually makes sense to those who are site-ed and is like elixir at site.
If you are completely confused by the above, you are normal.

If, on the other hand, all of that made sense, you have been site-ed.

Go see a shrink.

ER.

2 People Commented:

Anonymous said...

Cheap and trendy deisgner clothing from ronkaclothing.com where we sell: Jarbo, Day Dresses, Signorelli, Vanessa Bruno, Haute Hippie, Pantsuit, Holiday, P.S.- I Made This...Book, The Selby Is in Your Place Book, LD Tuttle, Elie Tahari, Sam Edelman, http://www.eicop.org/c-610-sandals.aspx, Prom, Citizens of Humanity, Frank & Eileen, BCBGMAXAZRIA, D&G, Lindsey Thornburg Cloaks, Cheryl, Elizabeth and James, Erin Wasson X RVCA, Kushcush, Stop Staring, eDressMe Private Collection, Plush, Twenty8Twelve by S. Miller, Tony Bowls Evenings, S.W.O.R.D, Baby Doll, Rag & Bone/JEAN, Kimberly Ovitz, M Missoni, Missoni, J Brand, House of Harlow 1960, FREECITY, Young Fabulous and Broke, Tori Praver Swimwear Betty Bikini Bottom, Falke, Covertible Dress, SBNY Accessories, BCBG, Zimmermann, Preen, Cleaners, Steven, Roxanne Grace, KAS Designs, Sheri Bodell, Georgie, Cali Dreaming, Backstage, Jeggings, Bliss Lau, Party Dress, Georgie, Two Piece, Gift Sets - all available from our online designer clothing store at 50% off sale! Check out http://arts.harvard.edu - harvard university arts and fashion.
We admire work of Harvard University Arts and Fashion - best school of arts where great designers learn
how to create great looking designer clothing!

Pranay Jindal said...

Looks like you have been site-ed inde-ed.
But this is just the outer sheel that hardening, and waiting to crack open to reveal your true self.
Just do some quenching so that the martensitic grin stucture that is formed is hard enough for you to break through from your cave like existence and come out to the glorious world that is CAT and that is GOD.
I hope I made sense Rebello. If not, kindly refer DWG no.
2M-TAMG/TAC-L&TFO.